In the middle of July a guy couldn’t remember what he was going to say when suddenly he thought of the most brilliant thing! “Ah ha!” He cried, with his index finger nearly poking the sky, “Unicorns do exist!!!” “But unfortunately they’re all gay!” “And so… They cannot reproduce and will eventually die out…” “Oh well, too bad.” He said with mock displeasure. Then a unicorn charged and speared him in the gut. Ouchies! A realization exploded upon the dying man’s mind, “They aren’t actually gay, just a little feminine.” As this thought flitted through the young man’s mind, the unicorn decided that he was pure of heart after all and with the healing powers of his horn, he saved the boy’s life. Newly rejuvenated, the boy leapt to his feet! Understanding flashed in his brown eyes. You see, as he was dying he realized what the one thing was that he had missed out on in life. He knew what he needed to do. Do you? He realized…. He needed to save a Damsel in Distress from a Dragon. Do note dear reader that the previous sentence has several words beginning with D! In fact, the boy’s name began with a D! Darren. So Darren set off through the forest of Scarib (pronounced Ska - reeb), the unicorn, whose name was Trenton, opted to join him. Trenton still felt a little bad about the whole stabbing ordeal. Darren, along with Trenton, fought his way through the forest to a cave where he found the Dragon, Ascarib (pronounced Ask-ka-reeb). The forest Scarib was named after the Dragon, Ascarib. Darren send Trenton into the cave first just in case. Trenton did sorta owe him one. Fortunately, Ascarib was not an evil Dragon; in fact, he liked baking and served them some delicious brownies after their introductions had been made. Unfortunately however, Ascarib didn’t have any Damsels for Darren to rescue. So Darren struck up a deal with Ascarib. If the Dragon would procure a Damsel in Distress, Darren, who was a prince, (You didn’t realize did you?) would set him up as the royal baker. He made very good brownies, you see. So Ascarib set off across the land to find the girl. He soared high above, his large wings cutting through clouds as he scouted his territory. Eventually he came to a small cottage floating in the middle of a lake. Technically it was a houseboat but Ascarib didn’t realize this, you can’t really blame him. He hadn’t ever seen one before… And sitting on the patio… Technically a deck but… Once again, Ascarib was a little dimwitted… of the cottage… houseboat… was a girl named Darlene. She was slender with wavy, red hair and green eyes. Ascarib swooped down and snatched her up in his enormous claws, but only after asking politely and promising not to tear her green dress. He then proceeded to back to the cave where he attempted an unsuccessful and fake fight against Darren who proceeded to marry Darlene and did fulfil his agreement with Ascarib. Ascarib was made the head baker for the royal household. And to cap it all off, Trenton eloped with a unicorn named Talicia; proving once and for all that he was not gay!
The official end!